Stand in the Rain
by Lady Monozuki
Summary: Sequel to Broken Promises. After their encounter in Atobe's mansion, Ryoma is determined to pick up the pieces. But one call will change everything. Support is a good thing, especially when it's hard to stand in the rains of life.Thrill pairing eventually
1. Chapter One: Determination

**Dislcaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady ****Monozuki:** I have not heard anything from my beta, so I decided to go ahead and publish this. Everyone's waited long enough. I mentioned this before, but I'll mention it again. This is the second arc. This will put Fuji/Ryoma back together. There is a third arc, but unless you want to see the OT5 back together, I suggest you stop reading after the end of this arc. No new plot developments (other than them fixing their relationship) will happen in the third arc. Meaning, you will miss nothing. With all of that said, please enjoy this chapter. Please review!

_Recap:_

Why would his parents tell you, out of everyone?" Syuusuke asked.

"Because I could see it from all sides. They let Keigo spend his time with us, but it was too much to cover up. This wasn't going to be any easier with Ryoma aiming to be a professional tennis player. When we got together, we let hormones dictate us and we didn't consider the long-term effects our decision would have, especially for Keigo's family."

"How much are they paying you to say this crap?"

"What?"

"How much are they paying you?" He raised his voice. "It's the only logical explanation for your behavior. You're saying that it was okay because we were the problem! If Atobe wanted us out of his life, he could have told us, but he didn't! He abused us because he did not have the guts to tell us to leave. And you think it's acceptable for him to get away with that? That it's fine if we ignore everything that he has done? We're no saints, but we deserve better than that."

- One year ago, America-

Ryoma added to history. He had been behind five games, on the verge of losing the sixth, when he pulled back from behind. It maintained his perfect score, but he knew that this was his limit. Fortunately, he had a few hours before his next match. He walked back to the car, not speaking to anyone about his match. Once inside, he fell asleep, not because he wanted to. If only he had known what was in store for him later.

"Why is it always about Ryoma?" he asked. "You entered into a relationship with other

people, but you always think about Ryoma. I didn't agree to be second to someone else."

"Tezuka," Syuusuke whispered. "I am sorry that you put in all of this effort, it wasn't fair to any of you."

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" he shouted.

"I have no place to go."

"You should have thought about that beforehand. You have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You may see yourself out."

With that, Atobe returned to the second library and closed the door behind him.

_I have to deal with the consequences of my actions too._

_-Chapter One: Determination-_

The trembling person resting against him brought a flurry of emotions. Ryoma didn't know what all to do in this situation. He had always longed to have the comfort of others, supporting him through his ordeal, but he had no idea how to be the person that he had wanted. The fear of reaching out and saying the wrong thing lingered in his mind. It taunted him, laughing at his weakness. His mouth remained shut, afraid to speak foolishly, even if he knew what he had wanted to hear back then.

_This isn't what he needs right now. He needs words._

But he couldn't bring himself to do it. The antagonizing voice rang in his head, telling him that what he said wouldn't make a difference. They were two different people, who went through two different experiences, and endured very different attackers. He shuddered. The memories of his own attack flashed in his head. It ripped at the healing wounds. The very same claws that now shredded the thin veil of tranquility in their lives. Ryoma stroked Syuusuke's hair, trying to calm the other through simple, gentle touches.

Even if he couldn't bring himself to speak, he could do his best to reassure Syuusuke that he wasn't going anywhere. That was perhaps the most important thing to establish right now. No matter what, he would stand by Fuji. He wouldn't leave. He wouldn't let Syuusuke go through the abandonment that he had.

"You'll never be alone," he whispered.

Even if they were no longer together, he refused to leave Syuusuke on his own. The pieces of their lives would forever be entwined. Even if they tried to pick up the pieces individually, they would always run into each other. Their pain. Their anger. Their hurt. It was all connected. Even in this case. He stopped his movement for a brief moment. Fury unleashed its wrath. How could Tezuka do this?

They were starting to make progress, but now…now everything was closer to the verge of collapsing. Ryoma resumed playing with Syuusuke's hair. He needed to calm down. It wasn't his burden to bear alone. But he would help carry anyone who needed him, even if he had not picked up the pieces in his own life. He couldn't abandon those who needed him most.

"Ryoma." Gen's voice cut through the silence, breaking him out of his thoughts. "We're here."

He nodded. They were home.

-Stand-

Gen watched as Ryoma helped Fuji. It was heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. To see the person who had been through a far worse assault, not comfort someone who had almost gone through a similar ordeal broke his heart and gave him hope. Maybe this would help Ryoma. He felt so useless standing there, and observing the scene before him. He didn't want to do anything that would only make the situation worse.

He followed silently behind, ready to spring into action if needed. They entered the cold apartment. Ryoma instantly began to direct Syuusuke toward the room. He remained behind, deciding to prepare tea instead. Leaving before he knew if Ryoma could handle this situation would be wrong. There wasn't just one person who needed him. There were two now. He was going to stand by them, even if he was no longer their lover. He would do whatever it took to make sure that they were all right.

_Especially after seeing Ryoma…_

The image of blood trickling down Ryoma's arm resurfaced. The hurt and helpless look in those golden eyes haunted every moment. The whistling of the kettle brought him out of his thoughts. He pulled it off the stove before realizing that he didn't know where the teacups were. This wasn't his home. This wasn't the mansion that he had spent the last 8 years in. Nothing about this place was familiar.

He fought back the tears. He had made a vow to never show any signs of weakness. Crying was considered a weakness. Gen had always been the strong one, even in his Junior High days. Even when Seiichi had to be hospitalized in their third year of Junior High, he had never broken down. He fought on. Now, it seemed that he was stuck, drifting between who he was, and he was now forced to be.

"The cups are in the cabinet to your left," he heard from behind him. He jumped a little. "I'm sorry for making you prepare the tea. I'm a terrible host."

He glanced to his left. Ryoma was already there, reaching for the glasses. He caught sight of white bandages on Ryoma's wrist. His heart ached.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "You had other things on your mind. How is Syuusuke?"

Light clattering of the items Ryoma was gathering echoed in the otherwise quiet apartment.

"He fell asleep. He's in shock about the whole situation."

"Everyone is."

A loud clang met his words. He looked over at Ryoma. Anger displayed itself briefly on Echizen's features before disappearing into passivity.

"Let's go sit in the living room, it's more comfortable there," Ryoma said.

He headed out of the kitchen. He sat in the chair opposite of the couch. Ryoma placed the tray on the coffee table before pouring tea in the cups. Gen took the cup offered to him, muttering a quite "thank you" before settling in for an uncomfortable silence. He wasn't sure how to talk about anything that had happened at Keigo's mansion, nor how to offer his help and support.

"You're not usually the one to be silent when it comes to the big issues, Gen."

He stared into the golden eyes. It amazed him how Ryoma still knew what he was thinking, even though he hadn't said anything. The connection that they had always shared had not broken. It was comforting.

"Are you going to be able to handle Syuusuke?"

Ryoma frowned. "I don't know. I'm not too sure about anything at this point. I know what I wanted when I…"

He saw the slight tremor in Ryoma's hands. Gen put his cup down and stood. He wasn't going to let them go through this alone.

_I can't._

He sat on the couch next to Ryoma and hugged him. It wasn't out of sympathy. It was solely to reassure his former lover that he would be there through all of the storms that came their way. They may never get back together, but he was still going to look out for Ryoma.

"I'm always here for you. No matter what," he whispered.

Ryoma returned the hug. "I know."

He didn't want to break the hug. Every time he spent time with Ryoma, he wanted it to last just a little bit longer. Though he had no right to ask for any time at all with his ex, his heart still yearned for it. Ryoma pulled away, looking away from him.

"If you had been there for me a year ago," Ryoma whispered. "None of this would have happened."


	2. Chapter Two: Reflections

**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady Monozuki:** Thank you everyone for being patient with me. I have not had a chance to reply to reviews yet. This past week was absolute chaos. Let me tell you, Thanksgiving plus Black Friday plus working in retail equals complete and utter stress. It's also why this chapter is so late in coming out. I apologize. Thank you to everyone who read and especially to those who reviewed. The chapters will get longer, I promise. Please enjoy!

_Chapter Two: Reflections_

Atobe sat at the desk in his room, reading over a document. It was something important to a business contract that was faxed to his house at the last minute for approval. It didn't matter. The harder he tried to concentrate on the words, the more his thoughts darted in different directions. The events from earlier took all of his thoughts. Everything from Ryoma's story to Tezuka's….

He crumpled the paper a bit. How could Tezuka could something like that? Yes, the break up was hard on all of them, but god, did he have to do _that_? Keigo put down the piece of paper and looked out of the window. It wasn't something that he had ever thought would happen _to_ them, let alone by one of them.

_Thank god Gen was there to stop him._

He shuddered. Just thinking about what had happened was bad enough, but the thought of what could have occurred lingered in his mind. Of everything though, he couldn't get past how Ryoma reacted, both toward Tezuka and when helping Fuji. Ryoma had every right to hit Tezuka. Hell, he wanted to, but his former lover had rushed up to him and raised a fist. Those golden eyes seriously looked like they were considering it too. But yet…yet, his ex had dropped his hand and used only his words.

It was something that he had never done. As a business owner, he was required to give speeches and present products, but at home, he had never thought to just use his words. He resorted to raising his hand. He ran his fingers through his hair. Then seeing Ryoma as he handled Fuji afterward, it was amazing how the anger had disappeared when someone had needed help.

Even though Ryoma had put up a brave face, Atobe saw the fear in his eyes. He wondered how they were holding up now. Barely two hours had passed, but he still wondered if they were going to be all right.

-Stand-

Tezuka walked the streets in a daze. He didn't know where he was, or where he was going. He had no where left to stay. Ryo—_Echizen_ had told him to not go back to their apartment. What about his things? He had work the next day, he couldn't show up in dirty clothes. He supposed he could withdraw money from his account...

_My wallet is there too._

They had taken a cab to Atobe's place since none of them owned a vehicle. The skies grew darker, we droplets began to trickle from the sky at a light pace, but increasing in size. However, he barely noticed. He didn't know what to do with himself anymore.

_They won't forgive me._

Something hard bumped into him. He continued on though, until someone grabbed him.

"Hey! You bumped into me!" the person shouted. He forced himself to focus at the person who was now holding his arm. There were three other goons behind him, all looking as though they had just won the lottery.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. Tezuka tried to yank his hand away, but the grip didn't relinquish. The person cackled.

"You think that you can get away with that kind of apology?"

"I apologized. Let me go," Tezuka said in a sharp tone.

"I don't think so."

A blow to his stomach knocked the wind out of him. He coughed a bit. His instincts took over. After many years of karate training, he blocked the next blow with ease. Tezuka ducked when he saw a swing in his peripheral vision. He spun and swiped his attacker's legs.

_One down._

He quickly rebounded, using an upper block to stop them from hitting his head. Tezuka stood at his full height again. He kicked one in the groin, causing them to curl up in the fetal position on the wet pavement.

_Two down._

The blocks came naturally, but his already distracted mind caused him to miss a few easy ones. He cursed under his breath from being so careless. There were too many openings. Too many opportunities for—

A heavy blow connected with his skull. His head throbbed from the pain. Another blow to his head brought him to his knees. His vision blurred. Vaguely, he could see red dripping in front of him, mixing with the wetness from the rain.

"Drag him into the alley. We'll finish this there."

He felt his body being moved against its will, but he couldn't fight it. Tezuka caught sight of a metal pole. Its metallic surface was decorated with red droplets. His blood. Now he knew what had hit him. He felt his body being lifted in their air and then tossed. His back crashed into the hard wall. Pain radiated from the new assault.

The blows didn't end there. They took turns between hitting him with their fists, kicking him, and bashing him with a pipe. Tezuka struggled to stay conscious. He couldn't stop them. Was this his punishment for trying to hurt Syuusuke earlier? The blows stopped. Someone searched his pockets.

"Damn, he ain't got no wallet."

"Tch, like I care."

A hand pulled his head up. He stared into black eyes.

"Listen, you piece of shit, if you had just apologized properly this wouldn't have happened. But you pissed me off. I hope you die."

The person let his head go. His skull connected to the ground, adding the pain coursing through his body. Rain poured on his body, piercing through the layers of his clothes, and causing him to shiver.

_I deserve to die after what I did._


	3. Chapter Three: Falling

**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady ****Monozuki:** Hello everyone. It has been a rather tumultuous two weeks for me. Being near the holidays, family drama seems to increase. For what reason, I don't know. So I decided to get this next update out to you before I get overwhelmed completely and go crazy and ignore all of my stories. For those of you who reviewed, I appreciate them. They are what keep me going. I haven't replied to any reviews in a while, but they are my motivation. Please continue to read and review!

_Chapter Three: Falling_

Gen felt his heart break even more. He didn't know it was possible. The pain that Ryoma had experienced was nothing compared to his own, but that didn't make it any easier to bear. The last words that Ryoma had said to him still rang in his head.

_If only…_

But there was no changing the past. He could only try to work things out in the present. He had to work on building a better future, not for them, but for his own health and well-being. He looked away from the person who he had let down. Not out of guilt, but in fear that the other would see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He wouldn't cry, not in front of Ryoma.

"You're always afraid to show your emotions," his ex said, breaking the silence between them. "You don't have to hold back around me. I've seen you at your best, and helped carry you at your worst. You did not hide your feelings from me then, you shouldn't have to now."

He knew that he shouldn't break down. Ryoma didn't need his problems on top of everything else. He had promised to be the one to lend support, not the other way around. However, his emotions betrayed him. Before he could stop himself, the tears started to fall down his face. Everything had changed in so little time. Even if he wanted to process his thoughts and emotions, there was no time to do so. All that he could feel was the hurt, the anger, and the fear.

_I don't know who I am anymore._

His identity had been wrapped up in this relationship. With them, he knew his role, who he was, and what was acceptable. On his own, he had no idea. He had not learned how to be his own person. They had grown up together, shared their lives together, and experienced some of the most awkward moments of their lives together. Even during their rough times, they had not spent much time apart. Instead of confronting problems, they had chosen to ignore them, but they were still together.

Warmth enveloped him. The arms that held him brought back so many memories. It had been so long since he had last cried in Ryoma's arms. There were no words that needed to be exchanged. He could hear the words that his ex would whisper in his head. He stayed like that for several moments, trying to gather himself again.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"Don't be," Ryoma said. "You're human. You're allowed to cry."

"You don't need someone else who's broken," Gen whispered. "You already have so many problems to deal with."

"I'm part of your problem, Gen."

He pulled away from the warm embrace. He stared into the golden orbs, reading into the somber expression they held. Every emotion that his ex was thinking and feeling rested in those pools.

"You have never been the problem. If anything, you've helped to break us free."

"No," Ryoma said in a firm voice. "I am a part of the problem. Everything is my fault. If only…"

"Stop!" Gen said rather harshly. "You can't blame yourself for things that were never in your control. You fought. You tried. You held on to whatever hope you could find. We let you down. _I_ let you down. You did everything you could, but we only dragged you through even more hell. We drove you to that point."

"You're wrong," Ryoma whispered. "I was just too weak."

-Stand-

A man dressed in dark clothing stepped outside of the building. He frowned. The weather had taken a turn for the worse while he was in his business meeting. Luckily for him, he always brought an umbrella with him. Not because he was a pessimist, but because he had this lingering feeling that his day was going to go from bad to worse. With the results of the meeting, it seemed that the skies were pouring down mercilessly the tears that he had wanted to cry when dealing with a bunch of idiots. He opened the contraption, covering his head before stepping out into the dismal weather.

He walked past four men, carefully avoiding bumping into them. They were notorious in the area for stirring up trouble if you dared to get in their path. It was easier to avoid the scuffle rather than to get involved with them. He had heard the stories of what they had done to others and had no desire to be another victim in their sick and twisted games. He smirked. He had played many of those games in tennis and had moved past that point in his life—well, mostly.

His black loafers kicked up water as he walked through the puddles. He stared at the ground for a brief moment, frowning that the water was soaking through his shoes. It was rather annoying. It took him a moment before he realized that there was crimson mixed in with the water. He frowned. The reddish water started to drain off to the sidewalk, and into the drain on the street. It wasn't a couple of random spots. It was a small stream. His eyes followed it, tracing it to the alley.

He shot a glance to the retreating backs of the gang he had passed. He had a feeling… Diverting off his course home, he walked down the alley. He froze upon seeing a person lying there in a pool of blood.

_Oh god._

He dropped down to his knees and placed two fingers on the person's neck. He recognized the hair and the broken glasses. It had been over a year since he had last seen the man, but there was no mistaking Tezuka Kunimitsu, even in this state. He felt a faint pulse underneath the cold skin. Quickly, he pulled out his phone and dialed emergency services.

He prayed that it was not too late…

-Stand-

"_Atobe," a deep voice on the other line said. He recognized it immediately._

"_It's surprising to hear from you, Oshitari. What may I help you with?"_

"_You __need __to __get __down __to __Tokyo __General __Hospital, _now_.__" __The __sense __of __urgency __didn__'__t __go __unnoticed. __He __frowned.__Why __did __he __need __to __go __to __the __hospital? __He __was __perfectly __healthy._

"_Why?"_

"_Tezuka's here. He's..He's got severe injuries. I don't know if he's going to make it."_

_-Stand-_

His mind was blank. He sat in uncomfortable chairs in the white lobby. His hands shook from the news.

"_You're here about Tezuka Kunimitsu? He has four broken ribs, a broken arm and wrist, fractures to the C4, C6, and C7 vertebrae, and a severe head wound that is causing hemorrhaging. He's in surgery now."_

"Atobe," he heard in the distance. However, he didn't respond. He continued to stare forward, replaying the words in his head. Tezuka was never this careless. If he had known that this would have happened…

"Atobe," he heard again, this time closer to him. He looked up and registered the familiar blue hair. He knew the person standing in front of him, extending a cup of coffee to him. Even if he wanted the beverage, he wasn't sure that he would be able to hold it.

"Put in on the table," he managed to say. His voice sounded odd. It echoed in the emptiness of his mind. Oshitari had obeyed him. His former teammate and best friend sat next to him, sipping his own coffee.

"Atobe, where are the others?" Oshitari asked. A frown formed on his former teammate's face. "Shouldn't they be here by now? I'm actually surprised they didn't come with you."

_Oh my god._

He had forgotten about the others. Hell, he had forgotten that Oshitari didn't know about them breaking up, about _anything_ really. Keigo didn't know what to do. He shook his head, trying to find his words.

"They…They have enough to deal with," Atobe said. He thought of what had happened earlier. They didn't need this right now.

He saw Oshitari's quizzical glance. "What could be more important than their lover in the hospital?"

He grimaced. This was not the place to discuss this, not with Kunimitsu… He reached for his cup of coffee and took a sip, ignoring the question that still lingered in the air. How was he going to explain this? He really couldn't.

"Now is not the time for any of this," Keigo said. "I can't explain it now. Not with what's going on."

Atobe looked at his former best friend's face. He knew that it was pathetic and hardly satisfying, but it was all that he could offer.

"Very well, I won't press." He sighed in relief. "However, I want an explanation for _everything_, including why you haven't contacted me in over a year."

Keigo nodded. He would explain, just not now.

_To be continued…_


	4. Chapter Four: Forward

**I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady Monozuki: **Happy New year, everyone! I have been absent because my little sister had surgery. I have been very drained and tired. I wrote out this chapter a while ago, but did not post it. Updates will be slower because I don't have any new material right now and the characters are being stubborn. I hope you have a fantastic holiday! Please review!

The minutes slipped into hours slowly. However, time didn't register in his state of mind. All he could think about was the two heavy situations at hand. Atobe balled his fist. So far, he hadn't heard anything else about Tezuka's condition. He kept waiting for some news, some sliver of hope. He had never felt so powerless. Even though he was one of the richest men in Japan, he could do nothing to save Kunimitsu's life. In fact, he could do nothing to stop anything. His money, his estates, his fame, all of it meant _nothing._

They had both done unforgiveable things, but still…still, he wanted Kunimitsu to pull through and be all right. He buried his head in his hands, ignoring Oshitari completely. His former best friend obviously had questions, he wasn't prepared to answer them. However, he knew that once they got word of Kunimitsu's condition, that he would be expected to provide them. Everything in his life felt like it was falling out of place. The walls he had built were gone, leaving only a pile of rubble.

"Atobe-san," an unfamiliar voice said. He looked up to see a weary doctor. Atobe waited for the doctor to continue. "We've finished surgery and placed Tezuka Kunimitsu-san in ICU. His head wound is the most serious as it was hemorrhaging earlier. However, we've managed to stop it. We will be monitoring his condition for the next week or so, depending on how quickly he heals. The factures to his spine will recover well, they weren't as serious as we originally expected. However, we did have to repair some of the damage to his arm and wrist. With extensive physical therapy, he may be able to regain some functionality to it."

Atobe sighed. "May I go see him?"

"Yes, for a few moments. We will keep him under close observation for forty-eight hours. After that, you may visit him any time. We'll inform you of any change."

The doctor led him to the room where Tezuka was at. He stepped inside, not prepared for the sight in front of him. Bandages wrapped around Tezuka's now bald head. Even more covered his former lover's left arm. Atobe frowned. That was Kunimitsu's dominate arm. How would his ex react to the news if he knew? The heir took Kunimitsu's right hand.

"Fight through this," he whispered.

Atobe left.

-Stand-

Fuji jolted awake. He panted heavily, scratching at the invisible hands that held him down. His breath caught in his throat momentarily before breaking out of the memory. He recognized the room. He wasn't at Atobe's mansion anymore. Tezuka wasn't there. Neither was anyone else though. Syuusuke breathed a sigh of relief. Syuusuke closed his eyes again, trying to control his emotions. They coursed through him, invading every open wound without mercy. His heart ached. Why did it have to turn out this way? Was he really so oblivious to the signs beforehand? Or was it just a sudden occurrence that he couldn't have stopped?

A shudder ran through him. He hadn't been able to stop Tezuka. His mind had completely gone blank. Even though he struggled and fought, he wasn't able to do much. Syuusuke fought back tears. Since when was he this weak?

_If Gen hadn't been there…_

With that one thought, he broke through the darkness weighing him down. Gen _had_ been there. Gen saved him. Syuusuke smiled a little. In the distance, he could hear voices speaking. The one that he recognized clearly was Sanada's. His heart skipped a beat upon hearing the deep voice speak. It brought him comfort. Without realizing it, he had made it to the door to follow the voice. He opened it and walked down the familiar hall.

Syuusuke stopped before entering the living room. The words spoken froze him on the spot.

"_You're wrong," Ryoma whispered. "I was just too weak."_

His breath caught in his throat. He did not need to hear the rest of the conversation to know what they were discussing. Syuusuke had never seen Ryoma open up like this to anyone aside from himself.

"I tried to fight against the thoughts, the darkness, but I gave in. I let it consume me. I'm beyond hope," Ryoma continued.

"You are not beyond hope," Gen said. "You just lost a reason to fight. You will find a new reason."

Ryoma smiled sadly. "Why can't you see? The reason I fought was because of you guys. I no longer have any of you. I never wanted a different reason."

"Ryoma," Gen whispered. "You will always have us. Whether we're together or not, we're always by your side. Even when you don't think we are. You're convinced that you're in this alone, but you're not. We've been by your side all of this time."

-Stand-

Oshitari stared at his former best friend, waiting patiently for the other to start talking. Atobe had invited him back to his mansion in order to discuss everything that had taken place. It seemed like the topic was extremely difficult to talk about though since the diva kept silent. He knew that the heir was troubled by other matters, but he was promised. When they arrived, he looked around.

"I see you're remodeling," he commented.

"Aa," Atobe replied. "Let's go to the first library."

"Don't we usually chat in the second?"

He did not miss how Atobe flinched. Something had happened there. Oshitari did not press. Well, not yet anyway. He followed the heir to the first library, finding it in similar condition as to how he remembered it. The difference being the amount of books in the room. He took a seat by the fireplace, while Atobe took one across from him.

"Well?" he began. "It looks like you have a lot to tell."

"I don't know where to begin, Oshitari."

"How about why you haven't bothered to keep in contact with me?" he calmly pressed.

He noticed Atobe's face darken. "I found out some disturbing news."

"Disturbing enough not to contact your best friend for over a year?" he asked in a low voice.

"You don't understand, Oshitari."

"You're not exactly helping that by avoiding the question, Atobe."

"Ryoma was raped."

The words settled in his mind. His eyes widened. Oh god, how did their relationship survive? His brain slowly began to fit together the pieces. Why the others weren't at the hospital, Atobe's evasiveness, the remodeling.

"You're no longer together with them," Oshitari breathed. "When did this happen?"

"Not until a few weeks ago."

They had survived over a year? He frowned. Then why break up all of the sudden? There had to be more to the story that the rich diva was not telling him. While he was a patient man, he did not like waiting to hear all of the details. He felt like he was pulling stubborn teeth. It was driving him crazy. Still, he waited patiently for the other man to continue, focusing instead on behaviour. Atobe fidgeted in his chair, looking as though he was thinking about how to phrase the words correctly, but failing to do so.

A servant entered the library, bringing coffee for them to drink. He reached for a cup, adding two sugars and some cream to his. He might as well occupy himself for what promised to be a long session of uncomfortable silence on both of their parts. He wasn't there to judge. He was there to get answers. He felt that he deserved at least some considering he had heard from Atobe in over a year. He sipped his drink, savouring the flavour. Atobe always managed to keep the best beans in stock.

Oshitari looked at the books on the shelf. The library had become more of a study hall from the last time he had been in here. He idly wondered if Atobe had moved the fiction to another section of the mansion. He recognized several of the books had to deal with business and financing. Vaguely, he remembered that both Tezuka and Fuji had pursued similar degrees. Tezuka he had understood, but Fuji had been a complete shock to him. In the distance, he caught sight of books revolving around history. Sanada has pursued being a history teacher if memory served him right.

However, there were no books revolving what Echizen had chosen to pursue. The tennis prodigy had chosen to pursue sociology on top of his tennis career. Well, what was left of his tennis career at any rate. Oshitari knew that Echizen had given up the path of a professional player, playing only occasionally instead of frequently. He never learnt the reason as to why.

Atobe took in a deep breath, drawing in his attention once more. The businessman finally spoke.

"Everything is my fault, Oshitari."

He put down his coffee cup and frowned. That was the one thing that he had not expected the usually arrogant man to say.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked calmly. The heir fell into another bout of silence, grating on his nerves.

"I drove them away," Atobe said, burying his head in his hands. "I hurt them. I made their lives hell, and they still stood by me. But after Ryoma was attacked in America, I just couldn't take it anymore. I—I drove us to the breaking point."

"Atobe!" he snapped. It was obvious the businessman was left with a lot of regret, and now he was getting the end of it. "Start at the beginning, please."

The businessman stared into his eyes with tears on his face. "I don't know where to begin."

He sighed. This was going to be more troublesome than he thought. But at least, he was getting some answers.

"I hurt them, Oshitari. I _abused_ them physically and mentally. My parents weren't happy with my choice, but I loved them. I couldn't break up with them, so I tried to drive them away. I made their lives a living hell just so I could be free of the commitment that I made to them. But they never left me. They did not leave my side. After all the torture I put them through, they stood by me faithfully. There were days where I couldn't do it anymore, and let things return to normal. I wanted to make everyone happy, but couldn't. In the end, someone would get hurt.

"But...But I never wanted them to suffer anymore than what I had put them through. Ryoma went to America to play in a tournament, taking a break from the stress here. He ended up in a situation far worse than any one that I could put him through here. Three bastards raped him, and he told me that he was kidnapped too. I never listened to his story. I heard that he did it intentionally and didn't listen. I shunned him and continued my torment. He tried to kill himself because of everything that I did."

Oshitari stood and slapped his former best friend across the cheek. The businessman hadn't bothered to dodge the blow. In fact, it seemed like he had been expecting it all of this time. Atobe did the most unexpected thing. _He laughed._

"You know," Atobe said in a dark tone. "They had every right to hit me, but they never did. They never raised a finger against me. They always used their words to try and get me to stop my abuse, but I never listened. I was never prepared to listen to them either. I was caught up in what everyone else wanted and expected of me that I took everything out on them. But they never fought back. Gen and Kunimitsu had all the defensive training in the world, but they never left my side."

"Where are they now?" he asked, taking his seat again.

"Gen's with Yukimura and Syuusuke's with Ryoma."

"I see. You made a terrible mistake, Atobe."

"I know." The businessman gave a bitter grin. "I built my empire. I put my business first, my family. But now…now that they're gone, I have nothing. Without them, I don't know who I am anymore."

_To be continued..._


	5. Chapter Five: Another's Help

**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady Monozuki: **Finally, an update! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It was especially difficult to write. Thank you for being patient with me!

_Chapter Five: Another's Help_

Ryoma felt himself weakening at Gen's words. Deep down, he knew that the other person was right. He had buried himself in anger and hate, but it was not directed at the other person. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't do so. The only person he really hated was himself. He had let himself fall so far. He was out of reach. He didn't deserve to get out of the pit which he spent his days and nights in.

"I—I am alone. I've been alone all of this time," Ryoma whispered. He stood up. Being around Gen was suffocating. He wanted to go hide in his bedroom, but he had put Syuusuke in there. He still headed toward the hall, but stopped in his tracks when he caught site of the person who was supposed to be sleeping. He couldn't breathe. His head spun and he swayed. The apartment didn't have enough air. He quickly changed directions and headed out of the door, not bothering to exchange his slippers for shoes.

He opened the door and closed it. The rays of sun touched skin, warming him instantly. He took in several deep breathes, trying to calm himself down. This wasn't how he had envisioned things going. Then again, he hadn't counted on living past this point. He walked away from the apartment. What was he going to do?

_Why do they care now?_

_-Stand-_

Silence settled in the room. Oshitari stared at the broken man before him. He didn't know what to say in this sort of situation. There wasn't much that he _could_ do. It was a lot to take in. Everything that had happened in the past was just that, _the past_. It was not the future. There would be hell to go through before they could work on any future. From what he observed, they all had to let go of the past. It was easier said than done.

And he certainly couldn't make anyone let go of the hurt and anguish that had taken place. But _why_ did it take Tezuka landing n the hospital for it to come to this point? Why didn't they ask for help before then? He sighed. Really though, he shouldn't be surprised. There was only one thing he could do in this situation.

"What do you need from me, Atobe?" Oshitari asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know if there is anything that you can do," Atobe whispered. "I've destroyed everything."

"Do you still love them?" he asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"If you still love them, then that has _everything_ to do with now. You have to make your choice. You're either going to fight for them or you walk away. But you have to decide what you want to do. It's going to be tough, but you have to come to that point where you want them bad to start again."

"But everything's changed so much. How can we ever go back to the way things once were?"

"You can't ever get back what you once had. You can only build a new, _better_ relationship," Oshitari answered.

He let his words sink in the rich man's mind. There would be one hell of a battle ahead depending on what Atobe decided to do. He grabbed his coat and stood from his seat.

"I should leave you alone. You need to think about this."

He walked toward the library doors.

"Wait," Atobe said. He paused and looked back. "If I fight for them, will you help me?"

"If I help you, you can't push me out of your life anymore."

"I don't want to," Atobe replied. He saw determination flicker through the businessman's eyes. For the first time in over a year, he saw the same passion that the man had for his exes when he had first started pursuing them. "I'm going to fight for them."

"Then, I will help you," Oshitari said. "Call me when you're ready to put your plan in motion."

-Stand-

Gen sighed heavily. There was so much at stake currently. The pain in everyone's lives clawed at his heart. Their burdens were his. He was never going to be able to let them go. They were his life. They were his heart. They were his soul. They completed him. Now…now everything was falling apart. He didn't know if he was making a difference—or even a small dent to making things better. Even if getting back together with them was impossible, he knew that if things continued the way that they were that they would all never be able to survive in the future.

However, everyone needed some space, himself included. He stood and headed for the door. He froze in his tracks, held in place by piercing blue eyes that belonged to Syuusuke. They weren't filled with hatred, sadness, or fear. For the first time since everything had fallen apart, they were filled will love, kindness, and warmth. The feelings and emotions he felt for the genius overtook him for a moment, but he fought them down. This was no time to get caught up in his own emotions. Not after everything that had happened.

He continued to make his way to the door, exchanging his slippers for shoes.

"Gen," he heard Syuusuke whisper.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Please come back tomorrow. Please don't leave him. He needs you."

He looked back at Syuusuke and nodded. The smaller man hesitantly made his way toward him.

"I will. Please rest in the meantime," he said, understanding how much it meant to Syuusuke for him to be here at this moment. The brunette was right in front of him, trying to close to gap between them, but struggling a bit. He didn't make any movement, letting Syuusuke make all of the moves. Fuji closed the gap between them. The thin arms wrapped around his body, holding firmly on to him as if he was going to disappear. Gen hesitantly put his arms around Syuusuke, feeling the other tense at his touch.

"_I_ need you," Syuusuke whispered.

He felt the tears sting his eyes.

_It hurts._

_To be continued…_


	6. Chapter Six: Confusion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady Monozuki:** Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story! It means a lot to me to receive them, and I enjoy reading each one. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Some glimmers of hope in here that will either make you like the story or hate it. I'm not sure. This chapter was kind of an emotional one.

With all of that being said, I am going to say that I am finding it extremely difficult to keep up with the number of stories I have going. Between them, plus work, and everything life seems to be dumping down on me, it's been hard to find time to write. So, in order to figure out which stories you are most interested in, I am asking you to review. I want you to review your favorite story of mine so I can determine an update schedule. The story/stories with the most reviews will be updated first, followed by the ones with the least amount of updates. I'm hoping to run a bi-weekly schedule. Popular stories the first week, less popular the second week. So, if this is your favorite story, please review!

_Chapter Six: Confusion_

Syuusuke trembled in Gen's warm embrace. It wasn't forceful or bruising, like the one he had experienced earlier, but the well-toned muscles were defined and powerful. They weren't unlike Tezuka's. The memory of being forced down surfaced, robbing him of rationality for a moment. But he didn't pull away. He kept telling himself that it was just Gen and that Gen wouldn't hurt him. Gen had saved him.

That thought alone broke away at the chains that tried to tie him down. This wasn't someone who wanted to hurt him, but help him. He buried his head in Gen's chest, inhaling deeply and letting the strong arms embrace him, _protect_ him from his thoughts. His shaking quelled slowly allowing him to relax fully after a stretch of time. His former lover didn't do anything except hold him.

Syuusuke knew that he was being unfair by asking Gen to take on so much more responsibility. He knew just how emotionally taxing it was to have to deal with the situation, on top of Ryoma.

_And now me._

He hadn't planned on relying on someone else, but it just happened. And seeing Ryoma open up to Sanada like that only made him feel better about asking Gen to help. No matter how hard he tried, he knew that he couldn't do this alone. Not with everything that had just happened.

"Thank you," he whispered into Gen's chest. "Thank you for being there."

He pulled away and looked up at Gen. He had always prided himself on being able to read past the masks that both him and Tezuka wore. Neither one of them could hide their emotions in his presence. But sometimes, he wished that he couldn't read the emotions and feelings. Because then he wouldn't see the pain and sadness inflicted upon the other. His heart clenched tight at the sight of the pain in Gen's eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," Gen answered quickly. He could tell that the other had just given him a default answer, one that meant there was more to what the other was feeling.

"You don't have to lie."

There was brief silence. He could see Gen contemplating how to respond to his earlier question. He waited patiently, something that he also had to learn how to do with individuals that weren't very articulate.

"It hurts to be this close to you and still know that there is a barrier between us."

The words felt like they had punched him in the heart. He hadn't thought that this simple action could cause so much agony to the other person.

"What scares me most," Sanada continued in a whisper. "Is that the barrier might be there forever."

-Stand-

Ryoma wandered the streets nearby Syuusuke's apartment. He ignored the whispers and looks pointed in his direction as he did so. Everything was in a haze. Nothing made sense anymore. At least, not from his standpoint. All of this time, he had envisioned his former lovers as cold, heartless, and uncaring. After all, why else would they ignore him for so long without so much as batting an eye in his direction?

Why would they care now? They had plenty of time to see him, talk to him, love him, and even take care of him. What had changed in that short amount of time? He glanced at the direction of his wrists. They were covered so others couldn't see, but the dark cloth of his shirt was transparent to him. Underneath the fabric, he could see the lines that raked across his flesh.

_It's because I tried to kill myself._

It was the only reason that they had put forth any effort into trying to help him. They were trying to pretend that they still cared. They were just trying to suck him back in, hoping that he would buy into every word that they said. What for?

_So they can hurt me again._

He clenched his fists, angry at the thoughts. How could they think that he was going to believe that they had any good intention? How could he let himself get sucked back into hell? Hadn't he suffered enough by their hands? Or did they just want to see him succeed in his effort of killing himself? Ryoma stopped in his tracks.

_They don't want you dead._

The gentle voice in his head broke through all of the anger and bitterness that he was feeding off of. It was a simple thought, one that seemed ridiculous, but also rang true. Why would they put forth any effort to be nice to him? They could have just left him in the hospital and mocked him in his consciousness until he finally gave in to their torment and killed himself in the end. But they were trying to be nice.

They were saying everything that he had wanted to hear what seemed so long ago, and gave him the attention that he needed. They were caring for his wounds, tending to his heart, paying attention to his needs.

_They're good at this game._

The bitter voice was back. It cautioned him against the lies that they were feeding him, their fake personalities that they hid behind—everything.

_You're being sucked in again. If they had really loved you, they wouldn't have treated you like they did._

Ryoma knew that the voice was right. He didn't deserve any of the treatment that he had received in a relationship. No one should ever have to endure what he did for the sake of love. It didn't make sense for people who claimed that they loved him to treat him in such a fashion. Which is why he found it hard to believe that they were treating him properly now because they actually cared about him

It was all a ploy to get him back to them so they could hurt him all over again. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape from them. No matter what he did, he was powerless against them. He couldn't stand up for himself or even tell them how he really felt about their disgusting actions.

Why?

_Because I love them._

_-Stand-_

Atobe stared out the window of the library. Oshitari had long-since left, leaving him in his thoughts. He hadn't moved from his spot. He kept thinking of the different ways to try and win back everyone that he had lost. Every plan that he had formulated quickly crumbled. Everything was so unpredictable right now. The different emotional states that everyone was in threw a wrench in every plan that he had managed to come up with so far.

If this were business, it'd be a simple manner. But it isn't business. It's human lives that he would be messing with. He had already seen the result of what could be done when you drive someone to the breaking point. Now, he needed to opposite to happen. He needed to bring them to a place of healing, rest, comfort—things that weren't easy to accomplish.

_Especially when they know how I've treated them before._

Targeting them as a group wouldn't do him any good. There wasn't enough personal time, enough communication, or enough contact to make a dent on all of the evil he had done to them. He would have to sway them one at a time. That was going to be the challenge of his lifetime. But if it meant that he could have them back, then he would gladly endure anything.

_Ryoma and Syuusuke are going to be the most difficult._

But if he could convince Ryoma that he had changed and get Ryoma to fall in love with him, then maybe Syuusuke would soften to him and allow him inside once again. At least, that's what he hoped. It was never as simple as it sounded.

Atobe chuckled. Nothing about his former lovers had ever been simple. They were all so unique and different that it made their lives together so beautiful. If only he hadn't destroyed that picture.

With that thought, he stood. He was going to accomplish this task and make it happen. He was going to start with Ryoma. Atobe knew how he was going to get his youngest ex to talk to him too. He still needed to hear the rest of the story about what had happened in America.

-Stand-

Syuusuke felt his heart tug at the last words that Gen had spoken. He tried to think of some way to respond, to reassure his ex that it was _not_ the case, but he couldn't. The future, for all of them, was unpredictable at this point. Even if he wanted to say the words, they wouldn't come out.

He tightened his grip on Sanada. If only he could promise that they would end up together at the end of the road. But he had promised Ryoma. He had made Ryoma his sole priority. And he was even failing at doing that, especially now. His heart was betraying him. He had sworn to himself that he wasn't going to even look at anyone other than Ryoma.

But Gen had been there for him when he couldn't even help himself. And now, he was at the mercy of his conflicting emotions. He looked up again, staring into Gen's eyes. They were hurt, but they were also clouded with tenderness and care. He raised his heels, standing on the tips of his toes as he had always done to kiss the taller man.

"Don't," Gen said in a strained voice. He stopped. "Don't kiss me if you're going to regret it later."

Realization of what he had been about to do washed over him. He pulled away quickly, freeing himself from Gen's hold.

"I'm sorry," he stammered. He saw the hurt return to Gen's eyes once again. A deeper hurt at his apology. He knew what he had done was terrible, but Sanada was right. He would have regretted the action. The silence between them was heavy. He didn't know what else to say or do.

Gen recomposed himself. "It's okay. I don't want any false hopes. It's hard enough being without you. I don't need to be strung along as well."

The words came out bitter. They cut at his heart.

"Please get some rest, Syuusuke. I'll see you tomorrow."

With those words, Gen left. Syuusuke slumped to the ground and sat there numbly. He had almost broken his promise. Tears began to fall.

-Stand-

Yukimura had glanced at the clock for the hundredth time that day. He knew that he had no control over how long Gen could stay out, but that didn't keep him from worrying. What if everything had gone wrong and they were just hurting each other even more? Sanada didn't deserve that. He had spent several years watching his friend suffer in silence, trying to mask the pain that they were feeling. But now that everything was out in the open, his friend had been left devastated.

It was painful to watch. There had been so much hurt, but always with a promise to love at the end. Once Sanada and his lovers parted ways, there was only sadness, bitterness, and hurt left from the relationship. There was no more promises. There was no one to clean up the mess. Not even he, who had known Sanada for longer his lovers, could do anything to quell the pain in his stoic friend's heart.

And to be honest, he never thought that he would see the day that Sanada would be so broken. He returned his attention to the food he was cooking, careful not to let it burn. He had made an extra portion, even though he didn't know if or when Gen would be arriving home. Yukimura took the pan off the heat and plated the dish.

He heard the door open. He smiled softly. It looked like Gen came home after all. Yukimura calmed himself and turned to see the stoic man stumble in. He was soaking wet from the rain outside—something that he had failed to notice. Sanada closed the door behind him. He walked over to Gen.

"How did it go?" he asked in neutral voice, hoping to conceal his overzealous curiosity.

He had barely reached the taller man when Sanada slumped down. He caught the other person, not minding getting wet in the process. Sanada lifted his face to meet his. Yukimura could see the pain and the sadness written on the expression. And desperation, longing, and desire. But those other feelings weren't for him—they were for one of his exes.

Even though he knew that, he felt his heart break. His best friend, the person that he had been in love with for a long time, would never return his feelings.

"I'm sorry," Yukimura whispered gently. He pulled the other man into a hug. Instantly, he felt Gen's arms wrap around him, holding on to him tight. He let Gen hold him for as long as he needed to. He wasn't going to let go.

-Stand-

Ryoma didn't know when the sun had turned into dark clouds, nor when the warm rays had turned to freezing droplets of rain. They were almost numb on his skin though. His thoughts had consumed him as he had stood still in the middle of a street. He only became aware of his surroundings when a man had bumped into him. In the blurred movement, he caught glimpse long brown strands of hair. A long, dark jacket, and a face with a jagged scar on the side.

His heart froze in fear. There was no way. He couldn't breathe in that moment. His mind brought forth the image of the lanky man who had kidnapped him in America. He blinked. The person didn't have a scar. And it was a woman. She apologized to him. He still stood there though, trying to separate reality from his past.

She reached out toward him and he panicked. He took a couple of steps backwards, trying to get away from the hand that wanted to grab him. He wouldn't let it. He didn't want to go back with that man. That man was in prison! How had he made it to Japan? Ryoma stumbled off the curb. His mind was still consumed with the nightmare from his past. All he could think about was getting away. He had to get away!

He didn't hear the honking of the horn, the screaming, or register the lights coming his direction. All he could hear was the voice saying that if he ran, they would kill him. It paralyzed him. He didn't want to die. Not yet anyway. He still had people who loved him.

Or did he?

What day was it? Where was he? How long had he been under their watch?

Something jerked him back to reality. He heard the screams and the blaring horn this time. Something heavy tugged him toward the sidewalk again. Ryoma's mind slowly began to reconnect with reality. His golden eyes searched for the person who had pulled him from the street. He saw a person with blue hair and glasses staring at him.

"I have already been to the hospital once today," the voice drawled. "I don't want to make a second trip."

He knew the voice from somewhere. The face was familiar too.

"Oshitari," Ryoma breathed out. Yes, that was the name.

"Good to see you, Echizen."

_To be continued…_


	7. Chapter Seven: Blurred

**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady Monozuki:** I loved writing this chapter. There are so many elements and deep emotions that really just made me shiver as I wrote them. I hope you'll enjoy it and feel the intensity as you read. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Please enjoy!

_Chapter Seven: Blurred_

Ryoma breathed heavily as he lay on the wet sidewalk. He tried to calm himself down, trying not to replay the moment in his mind. If he did, then he would go back to his past—the one place that he didn't want to return. He felt a weight disappear from one half of his body. Barely, he registered that Oshitari had moved.

"Are you okay, Echizen?" the man asked.

His side hurt slightly, but it didn't feel like anything serious. He looked over to his left arm, the one that Oshitari had pulled. The sleeve was pushed upward, revealing his scars. He quickly moved to pull down his self-harm. His eyes wandered toward Oshitari, who was examining himself for injuries. Ryoma sat up slowly.

Feeling his side, he confirmed that there was only bruising, nothing was bleeding. He stood, taking in the surroundings. Many people were staring at him, silently asking what the hell he had been thinking walking into the street like that. He lowered his head, trying to block them all out. He wanted to vanish.

Oshitari cleared his throat, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Oshitari repeated.

"Just some bruising," he muttered. "I'll be fine."

"That's good." There was an odd air of relief from Oshitari, one that he couldn't identify fully. Then he remembered.

"_I've already been to the hospital once today. I don't want to make a second trip."_

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't apologize. I've just had incredible timing today. First with Tezuka and now you," the man said with an edge of bitterness. "Though I like the way this one turned out better."

He frowned. "Tezuka?"

"Shit," Oshitari muttered. "I probably shouldn't have said anything about that."

"What happened to Tezuka?" he asked.

Ryoma waited impatiently as Oshitari ignored his question.

"I'll tell you, but not here. Do you want to come to my place? It's only a block and a half from here."

He hesitated. He had never been alone with anyone outside of his exes in a long time. "Fine."

He followed the blue-haired man.

-Stand-

Gen didn't know how long he had been holding on to Yukimura. However, in his mind, all he could think about was Syuusuke. How he had come so close to one of his exes, only to be rejected in the end. Every time that he thought of the almost kiss, he felt himself losing control of all of his emotions. All of his restraint was quickly slipping. Every desire, passion, and need rushed at him in his weakness.

He held on to Yukimura tighter, melding their bodies together, destroying every emotional barrier between them. The rawness and intensity of his emotions burned between them, sending searing sensations throughout his entire body. It was painful and pure pleasure all at once. Gen lifted his head to meet the gentle face of Yuki—no, Fuji. He brushed strands of hair out of the others face before letting his fingers trace the fingers of his ex.

To be in the embrace of one of the people he loved was why he lived. His fingers traced the gentle lips. He leaned in, closing the gap between him and his ex. The heat in his body intensified at the connection. They broke apart, breathing heavily. Gen eliminated the distance between them once more.

-Stand-

Ryoma entered Oshitari's living room. The room was inviting and warm. He didn't sit though, not wanting to ruin the others' furniture. He knew that he was soaking wet, and being outside of the rain made it painfully clear.

The blue-haired man had walked off, leaving him alone for the moment. He took in the surroundings, impressed with the tasteful decoration. Though it felt surprisingly empty for such a large space. Oshitari returned with tea and a towel. He accepted the towel offered to him and began to dry his hair.

"I really don't care if you sit on the furniture. None of it's new anyway. My parents gave it to me when I moved out and I've been looking for an excuse to replace it," Oshitari commented.

Ryoma nodded and sat down, noticing that Oshitari had done the same. He accepted the warm tea given to him out of courtesy, even though he didn't want the beverage. He stared at his drink, not sure how to push the conversation forward.

"I'll make you a deal, Echizen." He looked up at the older man. "I'll tell you what happened to Tezuka and you tell me why you walked in front of that car."

He didn't _want_ to tell anyone though. There was so much that the other man didn't know, that he didn't want the other man to know. But he didn't have much of a choice.

"Okay," he whispered.

"I ran into Tezuka by accident too, though a rather unfortunate one. I was coming home from a business meeting when I noticed a local gang walking by. I knew their history and avoided them. However, I noticed a trail of blood and followed it. That's how I found Tezuka. He wasn't conscious, and barely breathing, but he was alive at least."

"How is he?" Ryoma asked in a strained voice. He didn't know how to feel about the news. He wanted to feel sad that this had happened, but all he could think about was what the other had done to Syuusuke. There was a small part of him that felt that Tezuka deserved this to happen. He hated himself for it.

"The doctors operated on him for hours. They're keeping him under observation still, but it seems like he'll make it through."

He nodded and took a sip of his tea, ignoring the bitter taste it left in his mouth. He knew that it was his turn to speak, but he didn't want to. Just the idea of it made him feel ill. His head spin with so many emotions and feelings that he couldn't keep them straight. All that he could distinguish was fear. Fear of what Oshitari would think of him if he knew the truth. They had never been close. He hardly knew the other man, but he couldn't back out of his word.

He tried to breathe, but couldn't. Something was cutting off his air supply and all he could feel were hands around his throat, trying to choke the life out of him. Ryoma tugged at the hands, struggling against their powerful grip. Every second that they held him, he could feel his strength failing him. He tried to push away, everything that he could do in order to escape, but there was no way to get out of it.

His world went black.

-Stand-

Syuusuke was brought out of his dark world by the loud vibrations of his phone that was on top of the wooden coffee table. He stood up and looked at the number. Just one sight of the name—Ryoma—was enough to make his heart clench tighter. He answered the phone.

"Ryoma? Are you all right?"

"This is Oshitari speaking," a voice said on the other end. "I found Echizen's phone in his pocket and remembered that Atobe said he was staying with you."

Syuusuke frowned. "Is he okay?"

"I honestly don't know. He went through a fit of something and then passed out. Doesn't help that he's running a fever, probably from staying in wet clothes."

Syuusuke let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. "I'm sorry. I'll come get him. Where are you currently at?"

-Stand-

Yukimura took in deep breathes after such the intense moment between him and Gen. His mind relived every minute of their heated, passionate, session that had robbed him of all thought and rationality. He finally caught his breath and looked over at the muscular man lying next to him, who had fallen asleep after they had achieved pure bliss. He smiled.

The moment had been everything that he had dreamt it would be and more. To share with Gen such an intimate moment had made all of the years of waiting and being ignored worth it. He turned his body and brought himself closer to the other man. He sighed in content. This is how he wanted every day to be like. This is how he wanted every special moment to feel.

The other stirred from their sleep. He felt his heart beat faster as the other turned toward him. Dark eyes met his and he beamed.

"Sleep well?" he asked before pressing a kiss to Gen's forehead.

The other sat up, eyes raking over the discarded clothing and the items knocked over before finally looking over at him and his naked body.

"Oh god," Gen breathed out.

He felt his heart clench at those words.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"We didn't, did we?"

He frowned. "We did," he confirmed.

Gen brought his hands to his face, covering it and rocking himself slightly—something he always did when he was deep in thought.

"Gen," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

Yukimura reached out to touch the other man. His hand was slapped away. He felt his heart drop.

"I'm sorry," Gen whispered. "I shouldn't have—"

"I wanted it to happen," he insisted.

"You don't get it," Gen said in an even quieter voice. His best friend had stop rocking and was looking at him. "In my head, I thought you were Syuusuke."

His heart broke.

_To be continued…_


	8. Chapter Eight: Again

**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady Monozuki:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! This chapter is a bit shorter, but I didn't want it too long. The next one will be longer because, well, there will be more drama to write in that one. Regardless, I hope you enjoy and please review!

_Chapter Eight: Again_

Ryoma phased in and out of reality and the nightmare-filled dream world. Kindness was swallowed by the misery reigning in his subconscious. Forced to relive the worst days of his life in an unrelenting assault drove him to the same desperation he had felt when alive. Except that he would actually die in his dreams. In the world, he still existed. Life would have been simpler if he hadn't failed at committing suicide. He wouldn't have to deal with the pain and torment any longer. And he wouldn't have to see the people who broke his heart constantly. Was he really asking too much to die?

He opened his eyes, not really taking in his surroundings. It wasn't an unfamiliar place, that was all he knew. Ryoma felt a cool cloth touch his forehead.

"Ryoma," a soft voice whispered. Concern and fear laced the gentle tone. He tried to remember where he knew the voice from, but couldn't place it in his foggy head.

He groaned. His head hurt so much. He turned to see the person calling his name, but could barely make them out. The world in front of him spun at a dizzying rate. All he could do was shut his eyes to keep what little grip on reality he had. Soft flesh pressed against his lips, pushing hard objects into his mouth.

"Swallow these, you'll feel better."

Even though he wanted to ask what they were, he couldn't without much effort. He swallowed them without complaint, hoping that the person was right. It felt like an eternity before things were beginning to return to normal. He opened his eyes once more, taking in Fuji's concerned face. His heart clenched at the traces of worry and fear spread on his ex's usually delicate features.

"Syuusuke," he breathed.

"Is there anything you want?" Fuji asked quickly.

He closed his eyes again, the lids becoming too heavy to keep open. He knew he was going to drift back into his nightmares. He didn't want to be there alone again.

"Hold my hand," he whispered.

Cool flesh held tightly on to his hand.

-Stand-

Tears welled in his eyes, but he fought them back. Yukimura could only watch as Gen hastily dressed and then head off the guestroom. There was nothing he could do to make Gen stay. He wasn't enough. He would never be enough. Even as the memories of their passion burned in his mind, they meant nothing because Gen had only seen Syuusuke. Not Seiichi.

It stung. What hurt most was the fact that he let himself believe that the moment was real. That this was the start of a new chapter in both of their lives. But that dream was now gone, crushed by the fact that Gen couldn't get over his exes. Yukimura hated them.

He stood, slowly putting on his clothes before heading to the guestroom. He saw Gen furiously packing what little had been salvaged from Atobe's mansion after their breakup. He bit his lip. Even though his heart had been ripped apart and trampled on, he didn't want his love to go.

"Gen," Yukimura said. He didn't get a response. "Gen, you don't have to leave."

_I don't want you to leave._

"I have to," Gen replied.

"No, you don't," he insisted.

"Seiichi, things have changed between us. I took advantage of you. I _hurt_ you."

He felt his heart sting at those words. While it was true, he wasn't going to give up easily.

"Where are you going to go?" he asked angrily.

Gen paused. "I don't know."

"You don't have anywhere _to_ go. I'm the only one who stuck by you throughout all of this. Everyone else has left you. And you want to run away from the only person who has _ever_ bothered to give you more than one chance?" he spat. He was hurt and angry, but he couldn't let Gen wander the streets at the same time.

_I love him too much to let him do that._

"I can't stay here. I—" Gen tried to find the words.

He felt sick. "I'll get over it," he said gently. "I know that I'll never be as important to you as they are. I can live with that. But what will happen if they hurt you again? Who will you go to then?"

He let his words sink in. Yukimura hated the sound of them coming from his mouth, but if he wanted Gen to stay, the he would say whatever he needed to. He wasn't going to let Gen leave him all alone.

Gen stared at him, contemplating his words. At least he had made the other think. That was enough for him.

"I want to believe you, Yukimura. But I crossed a line."

"Yes, but we'll move on from that point. We've always moved on from one obstacle to another and overcame them."

More silence loomed between them. "I'll stay," Gen said hesitantly. He inwardly smiled. "But I can't love you any more than as a friend."

"I know," Yukimura whispered. He clenched his fist.

_I know that all too well._

-Stand-

The sun peaked through the curtains, warming him with their rays. Ryoma groggily opened his eyes and looked at the window. It was early in the morning, before anyone would be awake. He couldn't remember anything that had happened after speaking to Oshitari briefly—except seeing Syuusuke. He turned over and found his ex sleeping beside his bed.

Their hands were still interlocked. He reached over with his free hand and brushed a few strands of hair from Syuusuke's face. The man didn't stir. A smile graced his lips as he recalled when they were first dating. Ryoma had gotten sick and Fuji had stayed by his side until he got better, nursed him back to health, and took care of his every need.

The way life replayed itself amused him. That was when he started falling in love with Syuusuke. The time where he realized just how much the other cared for him. How much Fuji was willing to do for him.

_And it's happening all over again._

He leaned forward and kissed Syuusuke's forehead.

Even if there was still hell to work through, he couldn't help but feel that things would be all right.

_To be continued…_


	9. Chapter Nine: Admittance

**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**Lady Monozuki:** Finally, an update for everyone. I'm sorry it took so long. I tried to make it a little longer but when I got to the end, I couldn't think of any better stopping point. I hope you all enjoy. Thank you for your continued support, everyone!

_Chapter Nine: Admittance_

No one had given him satisfactory answers, Oshitari felt. After silence for so long, he had suddenly been thrown into a twisted tale with more questions than answers. The fragments regarding a string of life-altering events shed little light on the whole picture. Emotions and mental mindsets would add color to the image he needed in order to grasp just what the hell he got himself into. The rare glimpse inside Atobe's head already gave him a clue as to what the businessman was thinking. What concerned him the most revolved around Echizen and the baffling behavior he had witnessed.

The once promising prodigy had obviously endured a traumatizing experience, from what Atobe mentioned: rape. However, to have such a strong reaction to an event over a year later told him this event did not just revolve around one incident. Echizen, he concluded, did not seek any help or counseling. Then, a matter of Atobe revealing abuse, how did this play in the mansion and how much occurred after Echizen returned from his experience? He needed more answers to know how he could possibly undo the damage done.

_Or if this is merely a lost cause._

Feeling no one would give him answers any time soon, he began with the last thing he could rely on: the internet. Oshitari started with the simplest search, the last major tournament Echizen participated in. Curious, he noted, very few articles pertaining to Echizen's stay in America existed. Normally press junkets, interviews, and photos of the young man splayed across every printed and online source. The son of Samurai Nanjiroh never went unnoticed when participating in a tournament, never kept a low-profile, and never abandoned social obligation regardless of how tiring he found them. Photos only existed of the matches he played in, which showed a rather interesting side to the story.

He wondered if anyone else had noticed.

-Stand-

Ryoma stared at his cell phone, curiosity gnawing as every second passed. Syuusuke was still asleep and he didn't want to concern the other with this matter. Even in his impaired state last night, he still remembered Oshitari's words about Tezuka being in the hospital. Now, he sat slumped on the couch, debating whether or not to call the one person who could give him an answer. Numbly, he picked up the device and searched through his contacts. Not that he needed to go far. There were seven numbers underneath variations of Atobe. The fifth one was the personal cell number to his ex. He pressed down to call the number and listened to it ring.

"Ryoma? Are you all right?" a worried voice inquired.

_How unlike Keigo._

He sucked in a deep breath. He wasn't in a good place but the other did not need to know that. "I'm fine," he replied.

"Why are you calling?" Confusion, another emotion foreign to the businessman. "How is Syuusuke."

"Also fine, sleeping at the moment," Ryoma answered. "I heard Tezuka's in the hospital."

"Where did you–?" Atobe cut himself off. "Damn Oshitari. How did you run into him?"

He swallowed. "Not important," he replied shakily. "How is Tezuka?"

"Kunimitsu is fine now that he's made it through the first night. He's still being monitored closely at least until tomorrow night. If he makes it through the next forty-eight hours without an incident, he should recover well."

Ryoma clenched the phone tightly. He didn't know what emotion he should feel upon hearing the news. Should he really bother with checking up on someone who knew what he went through and almost hurt Syuusuke in a similar manner? Overall, he didn't know how he felt about Tezuka anymore. What the man did was inexcusable.

_So why did you call Atobe to talk about him?_

"Ryoma, you've gone quiet. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine. Thank you for your concern." He hesitated, not sure how to end the conversation.

"Ryoma," Atobe said seriously. His breath caught in his throat and waited in anticipation for the businessman's next words. "Please don't leave me out of your life. I know you're lying to me about being all right. It hurts when you lie."

He should have hung up. He shouldn't have let the other man speak but he went against the screaming instinct in the back of his mind.

_Why does he care whether or not I lie to him? He's the one who threw me away._

"I'm sorry," he said in an even tone, "but you're going to have to get used to the pain." He let his words take their effect before ending the call. Ryoma let out a shaky breath, trying to process the news and piece back together his emotional state. How was he going to tell Syuusuke about the news? How would Fuji react upon hearing Tezuka's state?

_You can't keep this from him. Tezuka is his ex too._

Even though he considered telling Syuusuke the honorable thing to do, he did not look forward to the conversation between them.

-Stand-

Atobe sighed after the call ended. He hadn't expected Ryoma to call, for Yuushi to tell, or the stinging remark from his ex at the end of the conversation. He should get used to the pain, huh?

_The pain will never get easier without any of you_.

He looked at the time, a quarter past eight. Amazing that Ryoma still knew his schedule given the isolation the other had faced. He supposed as a man of habit, he had become too predictable. A fault of his to a degree but needed within the business world. Predictability was equated to reliability. Atobe closed his eyes and remembered waking up at seven, meandering down the stairs, and finding Ryoma waiting to have breakfast with him each morning. A mundane routine he had come to miss, even after all the horrible things he had done. The businessman noted the time, only seven minutes had passed since he last looked. Screw courtesy, he needed to speak with Yuushi about what had happened last night.

"Atobe," came the deep voice at the other end. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Another all-nighter?" he asked.

"Close enough. This had better be important. I'm not above hanging up on you."

He bit back a retort to his friend's hostile words. "I wanted to know what happened between you and Ryoma yesterday." There was no sense in hiding his true intention behind the call.

"How did _you_ find out?" Yuushi asked, suddenly sounding more awake.

"He called this morning to ask about Tezuka, which only you and I knew about," Atobe replied.

"I ran into him," Yuushi stated as if it was the most common happening in the world.

"I know that much," Atobe voiced sarcastically. "I want to know what happened. Ryoma sounded off and I _was_ hoping you would fill in the details for me."

A sigh came at the other end. "All I can say is I have interesting luck. I have no idea what happened before I saw him, but Echizen stepped into moving traffic about a block and a half away from my place. He didn't seem in a right state of mind when it happened, almost like he was having some sort of flashback. I took him back to my place after saving him and told him what I knew about Tezuka. When I asked him what had him out of sorts before I saw him, he passed out. Fuji didn't proffer any clues as to Echizen's behavior either."

An unspoken prodding of information lingered in the air after Yuushi had finished speaking. Atobe was unsure as to why Ryoma would behave that way himself. If he could answer the question, he would.

"Thank you, Yuushi. You have incredible luck. I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Too late for that," Yuushi muttered. "However, do refrain from making early calls in the future."

Atobe chuckled. "Have a good day."

"Heh, as if, but you too."

"As if," he echoed before hanging up.

-Stand-

Gen laid on the bed in Yukimura's home, staring at the ceiling blankly. He had barely slept last night, berating himself for making such a huge error. In his head, he went through his thoughts at the time repeatedly. No matter how he looked at the situation, he should not have behaved the way he did. It was oddly familiar to when he got drunk and wound up at Yukumura's place. This time was different. He had complete control over his mental capacity and had hurt his friend in an unforgiveable way.

_You're being too cruel to him. You've always been cruel to him._

"You should have left," he voiced to himself. The conclusion he drew every time he replayed the scenario. Inexplicably, he had stayed. What the hell had he been thinking? He should have left last night–stayed in a hotel–_something_ other than stay in the house with the person whom he toyed with. Tonight, he wouldn't stay again. He would leave. His presence in Yukimura's place only brought hurt and anguish. It suffocated him knowing that he took advantage of his best friend's kindness and love. He couldn't that again. Not if he wanted to win back any of his lovers.

_Oh god, what if Ryoma and Syuusuke find out?_

With the bitterness of his thoughts, he readied himself for the day, slipping on the stoic mask that had become his trademark look for many years. He would need it to get through the rest of the day. Gen picked up his cell and dialed Syuusuke's number.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice muttered on the other end.

"Sorry for waking you, Syuusuke."

There was a brief shuffle before the voice spoke again. "No, it's fine. Just had a long night," Syuusuke spoke, sounding more awake this time.

"I can call back at a better time."

"Now is all right. You want to know when to be over?" His heart clenched.

"Yes."

"Feel free to come over when you'd like."

"I'll head over soon then."

"See you soon," Gen promised.

After receiving a similar statement, he ended the call. They couldn't find out about what he had done. What would they think of him if they knew? He didn't want to know, didn't want to see the disgusted looks on their faces. There had already been too much hurt and too much pain, he didn't need to drag in his problems to the chaotic mess. Gen exited his room and made way to the dining room. Today was Yukimura's day off work, he had remembered from a discussion earlier in the week. Which meant running into his friend was unavoidable. The sooner he got out of the place, the less his guilt would gnaw at him.

His friend sat in the kitchen absorbing a novel. A hand held the book and the other hand gripped a coffee mug handle. Gen knew that it was best not to disturb the other so he walked toward the door. He'd eat a meal on the way to Syuusuke's place.

"Going to visit Fuji and Echizen?" came Yukimura's gentle voice. The tone was even but emotionless.

"Yes," he replied. "I promised I'd help with Ryoma."

There was an uncomfortable pause as Yukimura seemed to struggle with the thought. "Is he getting any better?"

"I'm afraid not. He seems insistent upon living in his current state."

"I see," Yukimura muttered thoughtfully. "Perhaps a call to Niou is needed. He may be able to help, if Fuji is interested that is."

Gen had forgotten that Niou had chosen to pursue psychology. While it wasn't ideal, at least Syuusuke wouldn't have to gamble with a random therapist.

"Thanks for reminding me." He opened the door. "Thank you for everything, Seiichi."

-Stand-

After receiving the phone call, Syuusuke checked the bed, finding Ryoma not occupying it. He changed his clothes quickly before heading out to the living room. He found his ex sitting on the couch, watching a sports report about Samurai Junior's brief career. Highlights from his last match a year and a half ago lit up the living room. Fuji saw Ryoma's reaction to the report. He acted as quickly as he could by shutting off the television.

"Ryoma," he called out gently, noticing the panic in his ex's eyes. He wasn't going to do anything sudden to scare off his former lover. He couldn't afford to take another step backwards, not after what little progress he had made last night. "Ryoma."

The figure trembled, fighting within to keep control but was rapidly losing. Syuusuke hated being able to do anything to help. He couldn't save Ryoma from the hell he'd endure. It took a few minutes before the heavy breathes evened out, a good sign he considered.

"Syuusuke," Ryoma breathed out.

"I'm right here," he replied. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here."

"Syuusuke," Ryoma repeated. "I need help."

_To be continued…_


End file.
